Pole Fitness Class

I didn't know that in order to take this class you have to be scantily clad, but I guess it comes with the territory. Amanda and I showed up in our capris and t-shirts looking like Taliban women.  It was funny because we got paired with a girl who was letting it all hang out. 

First of all, this class is taught in "Glow" which is the Stirling University on campus "nightclub". When I say "nightclub" this is the kind of place where all the freshmen go the first week of the semester before they figure out no one else goes there, and it's creepy and weird. 

I was surprised to show up early and see two girls assembling poles. I don't know what I expected, but I thought they'd be magically there all the time and permanent. Not so much the case. There were two girls assembling poles, wedging them between the roof and floor. All I was thinking is, hope they know what they're doing, or I may crack my skull open. Before this class I told Brandon it would be a success if I didn't break my head open or break any equipment. 

I thought that since this was a pretty big class there would be a big space with enough poles for everyone to have their own pole, also not the case. Amanda and I were paired with one other girl named Rachael. She had been to the class one time before and thought she was the SH*T. The teacher came to our pole first because she knew that we had no idea what we were doing. She showed a basic drop move, where the muscle control is really important otherwise you slam your knees into the floor. I only had to make that mistake once. 

We then learned a windmill fan kicky thing. You have to hold on and lift your body off the ground while fan kicking simultaneously. This one rocks your abs and arms hardcore!! It was my favorite because it didn't involve too much spinning. 

It's surprising strippers don't vomit on stage, some of the things they do are insane. Next we learned a move called the "Dizzy Maker". I liked this move except the fact that we had to do it over and over again. Talk about a DIZZY MAKER! You spin backwards, of all directions with one knee hooked around the pole. 

Then for the grand finale, our teacher showed us how to climb the pole. I now understand why girls wore short shorts to this class. In order to properly climb a pole you have to pull yourself up as high and you can, then you have to grip with the skin on your thighs. As both Amanda and I wore long capris, climbing was not all to easy, and I gave up. 

Rachael however wore the SHORTEST shorts, and didn't wear appropriate undergarments to climb a pole. 

Want to know how I know? Well you see, Racheal's already short shorts got pulled up even higher.

 Revealing nasty von grossinstien's kootchy touching the pole!!!!!!!!

GAHH!!!!!! It was soooo gross! 

When I noticed, my head shot around to Amanda and tried to have a eye-conversation. It was literally the most awkward moment of my life. 

After Rachael was done climbing up the pole, I sanitized it with the sanitizing rags and pretended it never happend. 

We went through the rest of the class without a kootchy sighting, thank god! 

We had a good time, and I look back on that and laugh my face off. 

Just know, if you ever decide to take a pole fitness class, please wear underwear, lots of it. 

Until Next Time.......